Victor Zhang - Summer Morning

"It's not too early for breakfast is it?"

"Not if you're hungry, it's not." She smiles and wipes her hands on the blue apron.

"Well I guess I qualify. I'm famished."

I lean towards her and touch her lips with mine.

Negligence, Napoleon and R.E. Lee

I've been negligent. My goal when I started this, was to write something every day. I've missed a few days recently. So, I'm not as perfect as I thought I was, or rather, was going to be. But, I already knew that. I learned it unfortunately, not too long ago. Why is it that by the time we learn many of the important lessons of life, we're almost too old for them to have any practical application? I suppose that's just the way it works out for some of us. Better late than never. And, I'm wrong that these valuable lessons don't have any practical application for the more mature amongst us. Having open heart surgery taught me many lessons and I use them all the time. I think I'm more compassionate, less critical and more patient of others, and of myself. The wheels of life turn more smoothly. Especially with my wife, and the two boys. So I guess maybe I haven't been all that negligent.

My younger guy (eleven) has been home from school all week. I took him to the doctor on Tuesday. She said it might be mono (Epstein-Barr virus), but they're testing for other things as well. It's been so warm that ticks are still up and about, so Lyme disease is a possibility. I still find ticks on the dog. We should know something more by Monday.

Anyway. A friend sent a picture yesterday that I thought you might like.



I hope they're as friendly as they appear to be.

We had the first snow of the winter this morning. Barely enough to cover the ground. It'll all be gone by noon. And, I hear all the time that there's no such thing as global warming.

This was in a Dallas paper this morning.

What killed Napoleon Bonaparte?

For Dallas pathologist, French emperor's pants size proves it wasn't poison
Dallas Morning News, Sunday, January 14, 2007


Isn't that a grabber. How can one not read the story?

Thought for today that I think came from the AP, "Truth is not a diet but a condiment." — Christopher Darlington Morley, American journalist (1890-1957). Just be careful to enunciate clearly when you quote that at the dinner table.

Confederate Gen. Robert E. Lee was born in Westmoreland County, Virginia on this day in 1807.

Wikipedia has a lot about Lee.

"When I was eleven, I had several callbacks to play Regan in The Exorcist. While I was under consideration, I developed a severe kidney infection. I wound up in the hopital for two weeks, taking me out of the running and sparing me from a life of horse worship and roller disco movies." April Winchell January 10th

I didn't know that. Did you? I did meet the woman who was Linda Blair's stand-in for the Exorcist. She got sick from being in a meat locker for so long for some scenes. Filmed somewhere on the West side of Manhattan near 10th Avenue.

Liar, liar....& Let it snow!

I have an e-mail account at Yahoo, but I don't go there very often. About the only mail I get is from Nancy or Robert trying to sell me Viagra or something to enlarge my penis. I got an offer the other day to enter a lottery to pick the date Bush is going to start the war with Iran. I'm not a gambling man. I get those popups of some girl asking if I want to "hook up tonight". All I want to do tonight is get a good night's sleep.

Anyway, I went to Yahoo this morning to see if Robert or Nancy sent anything. (You know, they would get a lot more business from people like me if they sent free samples. And how do I know if this enlargement stuff doesn't enlarge other parts of my body as well? Has it been tested?) Nothing from Nancy or Robert but I did have something from Jill, Candy and Penelope. Penelope, there's a name you don't hear often these days.

And then an e-mail from my wife caught my eye. We live in the same house, but she gets a kick out of sending me e-mails. Sometimes she sends me a note via the postal service to alert me to the fact that I have an e-mail. I really should check my e-mail more often.

My wife has a great sense of humor and this one is funny. I thought I'd pass it on. I don't know this guy Andy Borowitz, but he's funny, and he looks like a pleasant enough fellow.
The story is about President Bush and the problem he has with his pants catching on fire.

While I'm still laughing from that one, I notice one from my friend Bob who usually sends me a lot of chain letters, which I never pass on. I know. I know. I'm taking a big chance. This one, however, wasn't a chain letter. It was excerpts from the diary of a guy who sounds a lot like me.

Subject: Diary of a snow shovel
> > December 8 6:00 PM It started to snow. The first
> > snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails
> > and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft
> > flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma
> > Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again.
> > I love snow!
> >
> > December 9 We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal
> > white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a
> > fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the
> > whole world? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had!
> > Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again.
> > I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon
> > the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks
> > and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What
> > a perfect life!
> >
> > December 12 The sun has melted all our lovely snow.
> > Such a disappointment! My neighbor tells me not to worry;
> > we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on
> > Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much
> > snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow
> > again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man,
> > I'm glad he's our neighbor.
> >
> > December 14 Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night.
> > The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything
> > sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed
> > up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the
> > life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried
> > everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite
> > this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this
> > way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.
> >
> > December 15 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and
> > bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car
> > and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants
> > a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's
> > silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.
> >
> > December 16 Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass
> > on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell.
> > The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.
> >
> > December 17 Still way below freezing. Roads are too
> > icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had
> > to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but
> > stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've
> > bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God I hate
> > it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in
> > my own living room.
> >
> > December 20 Electricity's back on, but had another 14
> > inches of the damn stuff last night. More shoveling! Took
> > all day. The damn snowplow came by twice. Tried to find
> > a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy
> > playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only
> > hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower
> > and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I
> > think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city
> > will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.
> >
> > December 22 Bob was right about a white Christmas
> > because 13 more inches of the white shit fell today, and
> > it's so cold, it probably won't melt till August. Took me
> > 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and
> > then I had to piss. By the time I got undressed, pissed
> > and dressed again. I was too tired to shovel. Tried to
> > hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the
> > winter, but he says he's too busy. I think the asshole is
> > lying.
> >
> > December 23 Only 2 inches of snow today. And it
> > warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the
> > front of the house this morning. What is she, nuts?!!
> > Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She
> > says she did but I think she's lying.
> >
> > December 24 6 inches - Snow packed so hard by
> > snowplow, I broke the shovel. Thought I was having
> > a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a bitch who
> > drives that snow plow, I'll drag him through the snow
> > by his balls and beat him to death with my broken shovel.
> > I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to
> > finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at
> > 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've
> > just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas
> > carols with her and open our presents, but I was too
> > busy watching for the damn snowplow.
> >
> > December 25 Merry f---ing Christmas! 20 more
> > inches of the damn slop tonight - Snowed in. The idea
> > of shoveling makes my blood boil. God, I hate the
> > snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a
> > donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel.
> > The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's a
> > fricking idiot. If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life"
> > one more time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.
> >
> > December 26 Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever
> > move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on
> > my nerves.
> >
> > December 27 Temperature dropped to -30 and the
> > pipes froze; plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for
> > him, he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.
> >
> > December 28 Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed
> > in. The BITCH is driving me crazy!!!
> >
> > December 29 10 more inches. Bob says I have to
> > shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest
> > thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?
> >
> > December 30 Roof caved in. I beat up the snow
> > plow driver, and now he is suing me for a million dollars,
> > not only the beating I gave him, but also for trying to
> > shove the broken snow shovel up his ass. The wife went
> > home to her mother. Nine more inches predicted.
> >
> > December 31 I set fire to what's left of the house. No
> > more shoveling.
> >
> > January 8 Feel so good. I just love those little white
> > pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?

Two laughs before 5:30 in the morning ain't bad.

Tatoos for food program

Yet another fragment from my drafts folder that I forgot.




Food drive leaves lasting mark

Owner of Jason's Tattoo gave discounts for customers who donated

By BERNARD BAKER
Register & Bee staff writer
December 14, 2006


DANVILLE - A food drive by a local tattoo/piercing parlor and a graphic design shop netted nearly 400 pounds of food for God’s Store House.





You Said It! "Lots of women smoke. I don't know many that dip. But I wish that you would print it and I wish somebody would please tell me how a woman kisses a man, no matter how many times he brushes his teeth, that's been dipping. Please tell me."

Psychics search for lost dog

I just discovered these in my draft folder. They must be a couple of weeks old, so you may have already seen them.

Psychics join search for lost dog
Owego owner told someone has his pet
Press and Sun-Bulletin, Binghamton, NY










Coyote Killing Contest Prompt Howls StarTribune.net, Casper, Wyoming

Police shoot samurai sword man Coventry.co.uk Coventry, UK